A Meeting with Bob

About three weeks ago, I received an email from a friend in England telling of an event coming up in Auckland. An internet link to an English newspaper's website provided more substance to the story. It would seem that on 25th August, a number of pornstars would ride topless through the centre of Auckland's business district. The reason? A promotional parade for an annual erotica exhibition that has become affectionately known as the 'Boobs on Bikes' parade.

The most surprising thing about this was the fact someone the other side of the planet was the first to talk about it. But then he did have The Sun newspaper, reknowned for professional & informative journalism, keeping him abreast with world affairs.

As B-Day approached, the amount of local news coverage intensified, largely due to the adamant opposition that the Mayor was mounting against it occurring. I doubt he anticipated the massive amount of free publicity he was generating for the organisers. The end result was that the council decided the event could go on and the mayor was left a little red in the face. He did promise to keep a very close eye on the proceedings though.

On the morning of the penultimate day, an email swept through the office advising the estimated time of arrival, and everyone with a Y chromosome began to type away on their computers. The next sound was of a few dozen computers confirming the diary entry of an external meeting with B.O.B. The business district had just declared mysterious fellow known only as Bob, the most important person in town.

The strength of the crowds gathered on Queen Street was a strong argument that not everyone shared the same beliefs as the mayor. However, without official police assistance, traffic was locked in tighter than the contents of Pamela Anderson's
swimsuit, and the parade was struggling to reach the fans. The wait was obviously too much for some to take, but the majority remained resilient. There must have been a lot of motorbike enthusiasts in Auckland that day.

For some unfathomable reason, the cold nip to the air wasn't enough to dissuade an estimated 20,000 people lining the streets to take a peep. It was later said that the actual number may have been much higher than this but it was hard to gauge a precise figure. I can only guess that the person in charge kept losing his count.

To add a comparison to this number, it is worth noting that 15,000 people attended the recent funeral for the Maori queen. By adding this, I am not insinuating anything but am simply adding it for everyone else to draw their own conclusions about what is important to the New Zealand population.

News reports that evening, presented local's comments voicing both sides of the argument for the event continuing. One avenue of investigation they didn't pursue was the impact the parade had on the businesses of the city centre. What damage to the economy had this caused? When a blackout occurred a couple of months ago, news stations were quick to estimate to the dollar, exactly how much it had cost the businesses. Presumably on this case, any negative effect of mass temporay office absence was later counteracted by increase morale and subsequent productivity. Or maybe the assigned investigative reporter never saw beyond the tit of the ice-berg. My only comment would have to be that it was an all round impressive display that required a lot of front considering the opposition they were up against.