Politicians & Pornstars

When Australia became a federation in 1901, the newly unified nation called for a capital. As neither Melbourne or Sydney would submit to the other's claim for glory, the powers that be decided that a new city should be built in between them. An American architect named Walter Burleigh Griffin was then chosen to design the city, and the aborigine word for 'meeting place' was the inspiration for it's name.

Canberra is a very open, well planned, and beautiful city. However, it lacks depth of character and feels as though it was only yesterday that ol' Walt's design left the blueprint. This seems strange when you consider that it's nearing its 100th birthday, but not so when you look at the inland location, and thus disadvantages compared to the neighbouring cities of Sydney & Melbourne enjoying their coastal views.

So the politicians moved in with their families, but all the other intricate colours that make up the rainbow of most cities in the world never followed. That is, except for the pornstars & dope tokers. The reason for their influx, is that the Australian Capital Territory enjoys some of the most lapse laws in Australia regarding pornography and minor drug use. The cynics among us may stipulate that the catalyst for these leiniancies is that there is consequently no 'story' when a politician or a member of his / her family, is caught 'leg before wicket' or taking a lung full of Jamaica's finest. The truth, I'm sure, is down to another reason altogether. Really.

As soon as we'd found suitably cheap accommodation and fueled our bodies with adequate nutrician and energy, we stepped out of the hostel into the city centre and began strolling. That lasted all of 15 seconds before we decided to take advantage of the excellent bus network. Once we reached the other side of Lake Burley Griffin, we headed straight for the National Gallery. This offered all the usual questionable offerings of the contemporary nutcases / artists of today's world along with those of yester years.

Our interest here lasted only slightly longer than it take to consume a sausage roll and we made our way over to the science museum nearby. I grant you that the majority of the interactive exhibits here were (slightly) tailored more towards more younger visitors than ourselves, but as we were still feeling slightly dazed from a night sleeping on a bus, the level of thought & concentration required here was perfect. We burst into hysterics at our balance and coordination skills in the sports section, cursed the school kids in the games section, and threw out some shapes in the music and video hall. We left after being 2 of only 3 people attending an acted performance about liquid nitrogen, & aliens from the planet Zog taking over the Earth!!!

Canberra is an extremely well planned capital, but lacks a lot of critical elements necessary for me to feel comfortable calling it a city. It feels more like a movie set that we were taking a private tour of. From the novelty grass roof of parliament to the artificial lake, and it's 140m memorial jet of water shooting out of it, the place doesn't feel quite right. Or maybe my opinion on this is simply attributable to a lack of sleep and thus similar viewpoint to insomniacs where everything seems unreal, far away, a copy of a copy. Whatever the reason, I would urge anyone to go there if they are in the area, for the simple reason of seeing the capital, but not stay longer than is necessary to 'take the tour'.