Sailing the Swan

We left the hire car garage two weeks ago with an estimate of 1400km for our trip, & returned with over 2700km added to the clock. Only a fraction of our security bond was left after the deductions were made, but we'd seen far too much to let this bother us. No, thank you, not today. Our smiles were fixed firmly in place. We'd seen a massive amount of the Southwest, and had probably saved 5 times that amount, by not using tour companies.

Once again, we were lucky to stay at Mike & Sue's house and they treated us to all the food and drink luxuries that we hadn't allowed ourselves in the previous two weeks.

On our second night back in the city, Mike arranged for us to jump on board a yacht and take part in a Twilight racing event on The Swan river. Our responsibilities ranged from the occasional rope pull, lightening the load by emptying a few beer cans, eating chips 'n' dip, and generally trying to not get in the way. It was an unforgettable experience of Perth that I would never have thought of, and wouldn't have thought possible.

Our team broke their near perfect winnng record and only achieved 2nd place this week, but the race is only serious enough to justify getting everyone together for what is more of a social occasion anyway - spoken by the gracious defeated. In a gentlemanly spirit (not previously considered capable of a nation of ex-convicts), we then drifted around the river until all the other boats had finished so that everyone returned to the club-house around the same time. The spirits then continued to fly high with a huge selection of food & booze, and a band knocking out a continuous stream of classics.

We spent the following few days, resting, planning, and buying supplies for the next road trip. It was important that while doing this we didn't get too comfortable with the luxuries of not living in a tent. Unfortunately, the kindness of Mike and Sue made this impossible and we moved on with motivation purely stemming from the sights we would see, not the accommodation we would enjoy.

Wreck hopes, long walks, & new mothers

Dunsborough was judged WA's Top Tourism Town in 1999 - things must have changed. I'm not putting the place down. It's lovely. Really. The previous posts illustrate the type of competition the town is up against. There just wasn't anything there we hadn't seen that was better elsewhere.
The sole driving force for our visit was it being the nearest access town to the wreck site of the 'The Swan' - an anti-submarine vessel, said to be one of the top diving sites in the world - one more addition to the seemingly infinite list ;)

Unfortunately, an impeccably timed cold crashed my hopes against the rocks, and we were left only with a tour of Cape Naturaliste lighthouse before pushing on to Busselton.

The main attraction and subsequent star of all tourism photos for Busselton is the heritage listed jetty. Extending almost 2km out over the protected waters of Geographe Bay, it is the longest timber jetty in the Southern Hemisphere. The reality of this, is a long walk on a long pier, with buildings at either end and nothing much to look at in between. We spent as much time as it takes to casually wander around the sea front, walk the jetty, and eat some ice-cream before moving on again.

The final destination for this journey was the town of Bunbury. When asked about dolphins in Western Australia, most people will mention Monkey Mia without hesitation. Few will think that a small town, just an hour or so, south of Perth has much of the same on offer - at least that's what they say in Bunbury. The staff there defend their 'interactive experience' as offering a more authentic experience, and one that isn't inadvertently harmful to the dolphins by causing a dependency on humans for food.


Our continued luck became apparent the moment we realised the campsite we had blindly chosen to stay in, was located a stone's throw from the very bay where over 200 dolphins reside. There is a charge for going on the beach but at $2 each, for a ticket that is valid for 6 months, it's probably the best value attraction in Australia.

There is no guarantee that any dolphins will make an appearance, but their attendance record is quite exemplary. Strangely the males rarely grace people with their presence but the females are so comfortable, they bring their calves. On both the mornings that we visited the beach, so did the dolphins. We were exceptionally lucky to see different mothers on each day bring their 4 & 5 week old young. As they casually swam right up to Lucie and I, I wondered who was studying who. Whilst there a school trip arrived at the beach (as they always do). The aim was to familiarise the children with these wonderful creatures in an attempt to ensure their interest in future preservation. I imagine that this is the same intention of the dolphin mothers that bring their young to these daily meetings.

Thinking about it now, it seems slightly irrational what an amazing effect the dolphins have on the people that see them. Smiles lighten every face, and the sensation of seeing something special remains for the whole day.

Caves, Waves, Food & Booze

From Cape Leeuwin in Augusta to Cape Naturaliste near Dunsborough is a tourist route along 'Caves Road' - they'll be no points awarded for correctly guessing the inspiration for this sensibly descriptive name. This road passes through a region containing over 300 known caves and an estimated 1200 unknown.

The first major tourist cave along this route is Jewel Cave, which is located roughly 15 km north of Augusta and is said to be one of the most beautiful in the region. It's location has been lost and found by many people & animals in the past (their skeletons remain to tell their famished tale), but it has been in it's current period of continuous tourist exhibition for about 100 years now. The cave gloriously bathes in a sophisticated light display, enhancing it's frozen tranquility and celebrating some of it's unique creations. Jewel Cave is the proud host to some of the longest 'straws' in the world; some are over 5m long. These straws grow at an excruciating slow rate of 1mm per year and are so fragile that one of the kamikaze flies from wave rock could snap them on impact. The cave is also the setting for numerous helictites that defy gravity and current scientific explanation, by starting life as a stalactite before deciding to grow sideways or even upwards.

We had originally planned to take the drive from Augusta at a very leisurely pace and see as many of the caves as possible. This plan, however, relied heavily on our naive belief that the admission fees to attractions like this would be fairly insignificant. In fact, their significance was so great that we swiftly embraced the notion that seeing one cave is seeing all caves, and arrived in Margaret River earlier than expected.

The name Margaret River is synonymous with some of the finest wine Australia has to offer, and with over 200 vinyards in the region, there are plenty of samples to enlighten every palate.

It is also famous for possessing over 20 top surfing spots that receive some of the most consistant tubes anywhere in the world. It is probably more to do with this reason than the amount of wineries, that is hosts a leading WA surfing competition every year.

The pedigree of both the waves and the wine made our decision for what to do very simple - as crap surfers we chose to try and drown ourselves on free wine. Every road in this region is beset on all sides by signs promising 'free tastings'. Pick any two points on a map and you'd have to plan very carefully just to miss them.

Alternatively you could plan a route with such precision as to make a half hour drive take over 9 hours, sample beers in 3 different breweries, taste the wines of 7 vinyards, and keep a police-pleasing breath with the offerings of two cheese factories, an ice creamery, a gourmet food shop, & a chocolate factory. This route actually included far more vinyards, but by starting at 10 in the morning, you have to be sensible about how many you go to so as not to let it affect your driving ability. I believe the itinerary I devised enabled an optimum level of driving ability throughout the day ;)

We arrived at Yallingup feeling slightly bloated by all the rich food and drink, & very pleased with the limited wallet damage caused only by fuel consumption. The coastline near here is host to a variety of interesting formations with names such as 'Sugarloaf Rock' & 'Canal Rocks', that proved perfect playgrounds for burning off some of the day's takings.

Yalligup is what Margaret River was probably like a hundred years ago. It has the same amazing surf-spots, and vinyards around it's borders, but just doesn't have the tourist pulling potential of the better known Margaret River. It doesn't have such a catchy or pronounceable name either, and more importantly, it doesn't have the accommodation, retail, or entertainment facilities. The benefit of this is that it costs half the amount to stay there, and if surfing is all your interested in, then there is no need to look further.

Thanks: Bootleg Brewery, Margaret River Fudge Factory, Candy Cow, Harman's Ridge, Xanadu, Voyager Estate, Cape Mentelle, Margaret River Chocoloate Company, Wicked Ale Brewery, Amberley, Rivendell, Willespie, Margaret River Cheese Factory, Howling Wolves, Juniper Estate, Hamelin Bay Wines, We're Wines, Wise Wines, Palandri, The Gourmet Food Shop, & Heron Lake. Your gifts of free food and booze were appreciated greatly.

Valley of the Giants & Augusta

A short drive from Albany (in Australian terms of being less than 200 km, not in England where a short drive would be a 3 minute trip to the newsagent on a Sunday), and we entered Karri country. The south west of WA is covered with a forest of Karri trees that are worthy of characters created by Tolkien. The smooth barked Eucalyptus Diversicolor grow up to 90m to proudly claim their place among the world's tallest hardwoods. These towering gods of their domain preside over a lush land of vinyards, that is kept from the sea by a sentry of white beaches and unbeatable cliffs.

Our first point of interest in this new universe of promise was an elevated view from the 'Treetop Walk' - a 600 metre walk, floating 40 metres above the ground on a masterfully suspended steel construction. A little more stable than the Malaysian version, it wasn't quite as exciting, but was host to some magnificent views above the forest canopy. One thing that was the same as the Malay offering was that despite the advantageous viewpoint, most animals tend to stay well away from the noise of the tourists, so the view was literally the only 'high-point' of the walk.

A little further along the coast is a small town of Pemberton and just outside is the famous 'Gloucester tree'. This is a 61m fire-lookout tree that is available to climb for anyone who dares step up the metal pole spiral staircase that leads to the top. The only safety net is a sparse wire netting that surrounds the outer reaches of the poles, but there is nothing preventing one person from plummeting down in a spiral fashion, and taking every person below along, for the ride to meet their maker. If thoughts like this weren't enough to cause a little 'disco-leg', you have to constantly move to the outside while climbing to let the people coming down get past. I concede that I'm probably being a little dramatic as there were a bunch of school children (impeccable timing, as ever) undertaking this joyful experience at the same time as us.

Once our feet were firmly back on earth, we drove a massive 20 yards down the road to a vinyard and calmed our nerves. Feeling slightly light-headed (attributable to the climbing, not the wine), we raced the sun into the west, and reached the Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse in Augusta, just in time to see the remnants of the sun's party draped across the heavens.

Along with the distinguished company of Cape Horn in South America, & Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, Cape Leeuwin is recognised as one of the great southern capes of the world, standing as a silent sentinel for days gone by. Since 1895 it has watched over the continuous battle of where the Indian and Southern oceans crash into each other. It is also one of the first vantage points in Australia to watch the annual migration of whales from. At the optimum time of year, up to 100 can be seen frolicking in the bay, but our visit was too early for such a vision. And so, we took only the time one takes to gain some sleep, eat some food, and recharge batteries (ipod, camera, as well as body) before following the coast north and seeking greener pastures.

The Stirling Ranges & Albany

Sleeping in a tent for a while has the effect of altering your sleeping pattern to match that of the sun. An hour after sunset starts feeling like the middle of the night, and it's near impossible to sleep for long after the sun starts putting it's heat & light into the tent in the morning. The benefit to us (apart from nearly 10 hours sleep every night) was an early start to each day and thus the maximum amount of time to see as much as possible.

From Esperance, we backtracked along the coastal road to Ravensthorpe, before once again, setting tires on roads we hadn't tripped. With another 100 km knocked up, we headed inland on a detour to allow us to pass through the Stirling Ranges on the way to Albany. These are mountains on an Australian level, i.e. barely a sand-fly's hair higher than a kilometre in altitude. There is the option of a 3-4 hour return trip to the high point of Bluff Knoll, but with time against us, we settled for a scenic lunch and moved on again.


Albany is WA's first town, settled in 1826, and famous for being home to Australia's last whaling station. This whaling station was closed in 1978 for economical, not political or sympathetic reasons. Since then, it has been turned into a major (for the area) tourist attraction that has maintained it's authenticity, and provides a view of what went on in bloodier days. Our motivation for going here was from the suggestion of various tourism guides and not for any long-standing desire to see a harbour of death. Nevertheless, it was surprisingly interesting. The admission ticket included unrestricted access to the last whaling ship, Cheynes IV, three cinema shows including a 3D production on the 'Ocean's Giants' (these take place in the large cylinders that previously held the whale oil), various galleries, and rooms displaying skeletons of whales. There is also a free tour taking you through the grim process of finding whales, harpooning them, filling them with air and tagging them with a transmitter and a declaration of killing flag, bringing them back to the station, flencing (removing the oil-rich blubber), and the oil extraction process.

It seems that the main opponents to the success of the whaling station were the sharks that filled the bay surrounding it. As the whale bodies were towed towards the station, sharks would take $100,000 bites out of the blubber with every pass. If a whale was left unattended (no-one shooting the sharks), then it could be stripped to the bone in around 2 hours. I listened to this pleasant fact, whilst staring out into the bay at the mast of the HMAS Perth that protrudes from the surface declaring it's resting place. My intention was to dive this wreck the following day.

The drive home was interrupted with a couple of short visits to some geological attractions in the area, including blowholes, a natural bridge, and the 'gap'. The inconsistency in power of the blowholes provided infinite amusement to Lucie when I was on the receiving end of a Poseidon-powered cough. There was a warning sign stating that it was dangerous to stand within a couple of metres of the holes but as my dear ma' used to proudly say about me when presented with something I shouldn't do, I did it anyway.

The sun then hypnotised us with a farewell dance and we stood transfixed to the rocks before making a slow and careful kangaroo-less drive back to the campsite.

Esperance

400km, 6 hours, & half a dozen photos of a diversity of terrain I never imagined possible of Australia, and we arrived at the coastal town of 'Esperance'. We had now covered 750km of our 'free' 1400km limit (day 2) and realised the chap at the hire-care centre had been slightly unrealistic with his estimate of what distance we would cover - purely unintentional, I'm sure. Similar to when you first cross the line into red with a bank account, we swiftly assumed a 'F*ck it' philosophy, and vowed to not worry about looking at the meter again.

Named after a French naval vessel 'L'Esperance' that took shelter from a storm in the bay, the town is used by many Australians in WA as a holiday destination, and is famous for having some of the best beaches in the country. Armed with memories of beaches in Thailand, I was a little pessimistic as to what this area could offer in competition.

We spent the first full day taking the car around the 'Ocean Drive' - said to be the most beautiful in Australia. Starting at Dempster Head, the road takes you past Blue Haven Beach, Salmon Beach, Twilight Beach, Nine Mile Beach, Ten Mile Lagoon, Butter Harbour Nature Reserve, Eleven Mile Beach Road, and Pink Lake.

These beaches were pretty impressive, and thanks to an the info board at Pink Lake we learned the cause of the pinkish colour seen in lakes on our drive down to Esperance - it results from different proportions of a salt tolerant algae and a pink helophilic bacterium - obviously. The only problem is that the beaches weren't really cutting the mustard. Didn't quite make the grade. They couldn't compete with the white sands of Ko Lipe, or the turquoise waters of Ko Nang Yuan. Something pretty spectacular would need to be shown to gain a top-ranking position.

The next day we drove around the coast to Cape Le Grand National Park. A short way past 'Frenchman's Peak' (highest geographical point in the vicinity) the first beach rose into view, separated the green from blue, and slapped our senses so hard our jaws dropped and hit the brakes. My breath was stolen and wasn't returned again until the last beach was out of sight. The following pictures from Lucky Bay, Thistle Cove & Hellfire Bay manage to describe with a vocabulary more diverse than literally possible (for my limited mind), just how wrong expectations were and how amazing this place really is.

These three photos don't do the area justice by a long way, but then neither would a million. Only the unhindered visionary experience of actually being there manages to scratch the surface of being able appreciate nature's exuberance for creativity. And then, with every additional joyfull moment, that the vision is played again from memory, it's appreciation increases infinitely. Nearly every other sight, of every second, of every day, serves to illustrate how beautifully & rare areas like this are.

Truly satisfied with what we had seen in Esperance, we decided to relax on our last day (the previous days were obviously very stressful), and just stay in the area nearest to the campsite. We walked to major groyne along the beach that is used by fisherman of the town and sea - dolphins had been seen the previous day working together to collect their lunch.

In the afternoon we visited the jetty in hope of seeing a couple of other local celebrities - two sea lions. Unfortunately this experience left a salty taste in my mouth. Whilst capturing a glorious 'Kodak moment' of a sea lion at play, my recently purchased sunglasses fell from my head, down into the murky water below the jetty. As they were new and expensive, and I'm stubborn and often stupid, I ignored the warning signs about swimming near sea lions, donned my snorkel and facemask and jumped in to try and retrieve them. Thankfully the adrenaline kept me calm (oblivious) during the ordeal, but the sea lion became visibly agitated, and Lucie sported a expression of 'What the **** are you doing?". The poor visibility of the water and strong current stopped me from finding them, but I tried to stay positive about the experience. After all, I doubt I would've been inclined to take a swim with wild sea lions in any other circumstance. So, if you see a rather groovy looking sea lion sporting a pair of Arnette sunglasses in the future, you know the story behind where he found them.

Tripping Roads & Rocking Waves

I once heard about a roadside diner in North America that had an advertising sign saying "Check out 'Duke's Diner' - 10,000 flies can't be wrong". In the essence of this message, it would be an understatement to say that Wave Rock comes recommended. Our enjoyment level of one of the most famous spectacles of Western Australia was on a knife edge between appreciating it's magnificence, and keeping our blood from reaching boiling point with each collision from nature's most pointless production. I began to wonder if the real stimuli for the name 'Wave Rock' wasn't the imposing similarity to a giant breaking wave, but because of the manic gesticulating necessary for keeping the flies away from your face.

Despite our hyperactive hosts, we marvelled at nature's work-in-progress (2,700 million years and still going), but resisted the temptation to walk (or float under the wings of a million flies) the 1.5 km to 'Hippo's Yawn', and instead opted to finding a suitable patch of grass for our first night in the tent. Unfortunately the campsite at Wave Rock was obviously relying on it's proximity to the attraction rather than luxurious amenities to attract the punters, so we backtracked a few kilometres to an alternative.

Considering the distinct remoteness of this site, & the fact it was only a secondary part of the owner's farming business, it is amazing how fantastic it was. Rumours around 'camper's kitchen' said $1.3million had been ploughed into it's recent development. And so, we pitched our tent on a patch of grass with more bounce than 'Baywatch', cooked dinner, and made for our first night's sleep with nature.

This was a promising start to camping.

Am I dreaming? The beginning of being

It had been 2 months since I last saw her, and nearly 5 months since I left England to begin my travels. We'd been averaging around 70 text messages a week, a fortnightly phone call, 10 emails a month, and a seemingly infinite amount of despair filling the void in between. At approximately 18 hours, 35 minutes, & 25 seconds, on Tuesday 7th March, Lucie walked through customs at Perth airport, and the waiting was finally over. Stop the clock; I have the crystal.

After the amount of time we'd been apart, it didn't seem real. We expected the bubble to burst at any moment, and return us to beds that were thousands of miles apart like so many other times during nights in the previous months. Even in the moments when we dared to accept and enjoy this reality, the feeling that it was only a fleeting moment was too strong to completely relax. Since the beginning of our relationship, we knew there was a date on the horizon that would bring our separation. It is unclear whether or not it was down to this reason or our similar personalities that led to an immediate degree of urgency in our emotional honesty, and an unprecedented spontaneity to our decisions. But that was over now; there were no deadlines. No dates looming behind every silver lining that would reap us of our happiness. Our future was in our hands and we could now shape it according to a mutual vision.

We spent the first few days acclimatizing to this new state of being and in the moments when all feet were firmly back on Earth, I passed on the orientation tour that had been give to me .

I'd done a bit of a reconnaissance mission before she arrived and managed to secure us a room in what must surely be the most amazing backpacker accommodation in Australia. 'Bambu Backpackers' had only just reopened following a refit and it was looking lush as.


The only problem was that there was only one double room available so we had to suffer in squalor in a room with TV & DVD player, and bathroom attached. The only downside to it's central location in Northbridge (the main going out district in Perth), was it's central location in Northbridge (the main going out district in Perth). We spent most of our evenings with the spirits of base passing through our bodies and sleep was usually the consequence of exhaustion. Luckily this was easily achievable and unconsciousness was attainable without too much stress.

On Friday night we went out with Luke and his house mates, checked out Scarborough Beach on the Saturday, and went to Rottnest Island on the Sunday.

Rottnest island is Western Australia's island playground and about 90 minutes by ferry from Perth or 25 minutes from Freemantle. It boasts beautiful beaches and bays, crystal clear waters, spectacular coastline, reefs and diverse marine life. It's name stems from a chance encounter in 1696 between the Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh, and the island's unique inhabitants, the Quokkas. He mistook these winter-slipper like critters for giant rats, and named the island Rotte-nest, meaning rats nest. As the name was a little more catchy than it's Aboriginal original, 'Wadjemup', the name stuck. The ironic thing about this beautiful island is that it was originally used a high security prison to keep criminal Aborigines on. Apparently the Australians didn't learn from the mistake of the English from sending criminals to a better location than their own.

After a brief walk on the island and an hour on one of the beaches, Luke and I indulged in some scuba diving, and left Lucie to gathering sunrays on the sand. There was comparatively little animal life to look at on the dive, but it did provide my first sighting of a beautifully fluorescent slug-like creature called a 'nudibranch', and gave us a few caves and a swim-through to check out.

Back on the beach, Lucie was discovering the difference between sunshine in England and Australia, and like every European that goes aboard, achieved the lobster-look on the first day.


On Monday we met up with my dad's cousin, Mike, who kindly drove us around the sights of Perth and the surrounding area. He showed us $2.5million catamaran he was building at work, a AC Cobra he'd built at home and a beautiful weekend retreat he'd built for retirement. In the evening Mike and his wife, Sue, took us for a gigantic that would probably have satisfied our dietary requirements for a week. This was a very good thing considering we were able to embark on our first camping road-trip but would give our stomachs a bad idea of what it should expect.

Compton, Long Beach...

After a 6 hour flight with probably the best airline in the world, I landed in Perth, Western Australia. TVs in the backs of every seat, more film choices than Blockbuster, a drinks cabinet that Oliver Reed would've struggled to empty, & the best food in 5 months (excluding the Xmas jolly in England). I would've been happy to stay on that plane all week. It's a pity you can't fly with Singapore Airways everywhere in the world.

Luke had been in Perth for the best part of a month now. After a short stint roughing it with the other backpackers in a hostel, he lucked out and a ticket to better things sat down next to him one day in an internet café. He then moved into a house with a swimming pool attached, that was only a short bus ride from the city centre, and cost less than dormitory accommodation. I was very grateful to rejoice in his fortune, by enjoying a lift from the airport and a sofa for a bed. The only questionable thing about this idyllic sounding house, was it's location in the heart of 'Inglewood'. But this was nothing like it's namesake suburb in South Central Los Angeles. If both suburbs were summised by rap lyrics, then Dr. Dre would represent L.A. with notions of ''blunt, bitches, & big screen TVs'', while Eminem covers the Perth version with ''Vicadin and homosexuals''; the Perth suburb is rumored to be the gay district.

Back at his 'crib', we sank a few tins of Jim Bean & Coke, and talked about what we'd each been up to since parting company on Ko Lanta. With the fat chewed late into the night, I found sleep easily on the sofa, and thought about what my time in Australia would bring.

I spent my first few days wandering around Perth, & being shown the sights (surf shops, not historical). I adjusted to a land of white people, where everyone speaks English, and dysentery isn't an apéritif. After months of being in some weird and wonderful places, Australia felt like not really being away. Too familiar. Too easy. It was the end to one section of my travelling, but the start of one promising to be even more full of experiences than the previous. Maybe not in the aspects of spiritual enlightenment & cultural awareness, but certainly in the area of opportunity for activity and adventure.


On my first Sunday, I went to what can only be described as a communion of the dominant religion in Australia. This annual beer festival took place a 30 min drive away from Perth city centre, in the coastal town of Freemantle, or 'Freo' to those that know. Our ticket for this event gave us 10 tokens for 50ml samples of the various beers available and after that, it was all down to your liver and wallet for much you could drink. In my case, it was down to Luke's wallet as my card was refused. With 38 degree rays beating down on our inebriated heads, the drinks were taking their toll early, and time was moving slower than a slug in a salt-shaker. I tasted more beers than I can remember (literally) but one which stood the test of brain cell endurance was a Tequila flavoured beer from France, called 'Desperado'. The most popular beer of the festival seemed to be the Czech beer, Budejovicky Budvar. It was sold out in the main tent by early afternoon and the tasting tent was also the first to empty. I'm definitely seeing a girl from the right country and it wouldn't be long before we were both in the right country at the right time.
As the sun slipped beneath it's covers for bedtime, the bands of the festival cranked up the volume to 11 on the dial, and everyone danced their intoxicated bodies back to sobriety….or unconsciousness.

Singapore

You know that uneasy feeling when you're at the airport and you're about to go through the x-ray section at customs? You know that you haven't got anything compromising on you, and aren't guilty of anything, but still feel slightly uncomfortable. Imagine how intensified this feeling is as you enter a country that puts signs up everywhere saying 'Death to all Drug Traffickers" and "Sniffer Dogs Present". My apprehension was a nuclear implosion of dread inside my stomach. This wasn't helped by a consistent lack of sleep & subsequent over-active imagination that plagued my mind with thoughts of drugs having been planted on me.

Of course, nothing happened to me. I wasn't stopped. I wasn't searched and I never got the Valentine's Day special from Mr. Rubber Glove Man. There were no sniffer dogs. Not that I'm even sure that Valium is illegal in Singapore, but I knew the customs officials wouldn't like the pirate CDs and DVDs that I was bringing into their country. Fear had gripped me in a iron-clad neck-pinch and then released me 45 minutes later at a bus stop in central Singapore. It may be for this reason that I quickly developed an appreciation for the city (& life in general).

There are a few areas for backpackers to stay in the city but I'd heard the best things about the hostels in Little India. Apparently I wasn't the only with this advice as my intended hostel had no available beds when I arrived. My only choice (through a geographical constraint of not being arsed to walk far with a backpack on) was to spend the first night in an up-market hostel 20 yards down the road.

I had 3 days to spend in Singapore and judging by what I had read about the place, I knew this would be plenty of time. I decided on different types of things to do each day and figured I spend the first day visiting the zoo. After my visit to Bangkok Zoo, I was slightly wary of going to another, but this was the complete antithesis. In fact, I'd have to say it was one of the best zoos I'd ever been to. The main aspect that set it apart was it's jungle setting and seemingly open access policy for certain animals: Small monkeys were free to roam in and out of their areas; a snake slithered past me on one path; and a 2 ft long lizard ran ahead of me on another.

In the evening I stayed in the area and went to The Night Safari next door - ranked highly in the tourist awards for SE Asia numerous times in the past 5 years. There are fire shows, a guided tram ride, and a few mildly entertaining (& educational) shows put on. I would recommend it to people passing through Singapore but don't do the zoo during the day as well - slight animal overdose.

The next day I went to the island resort of Sentosa on the south coast of Singapore. You can reach the island by bus, but the real tourist ticket is for a cable car that gives amazing views of the city, the sea, and every cargo ship filling the horizon - Singapore is one of the busiest ports in the world. The resort island is extremely superficial, restrictive, and uninspiring, but at the same time, it's hard not to enjoy the white sand beaches. You just have to be careful of Stonefish swimming in the sea.

I spent most of the day on one of the beaches and then checked out the dolphin park and the famous underwater world. At this point, I was getting hungry and at the end of my tether with all the discourteous people filling the park, so got out of there as quickly as possible.

A visit to Singapore wouldn't be complete without the mandatory Singapore Sling at the Raffles Hotel - the cocktail was invented there in 1915. It was a sickly sweet overpriced glass of cliche that had to be bought. One of the most striking things about this place is not the cocktail that was invented there, but the bizarre tradition of casually disposing of nut shells on the floor at your feet. With the infinite supply of nuts and new suckers arriving to try the 'Sling, it's no surprise that the floor was absolutely covered with shells.

On my last day, I spent my morning walking around the colonial district, strolling along Boat Quay, and then along the main shopping street of Orchard Road. This route was carefully planned to enable me to be at the Tony Roma's restaurant for lunch - a couple of Swedish blokes in Taman Negara had stated that the ribs here, are the best in the world, so I had to check them out. Especially considering I would soon be in Perth and would then sample the ribs that Luke had told me so much about (at least once a week for the past 5 months - just kidding .... but not really).

After lunch, I went to one of the main shopping districts for electronic goods, and hunted down a bargain on a digital camera for Lucie. You can get some good deals here but it requires a lot of haggling, shopping around, and putting up with rude comments from shop assistants when you don't buy from them. Evidently the customer is never right in Singapore and browsing is looked down upon.

So, what did I think of the city? Clean, efficient, safe and therefore restrictive, boring, & heartless. I wonder if the city has been so preoccupied with trying to run, that by neglecting the period of walking, it left it's soul in the past. The people are hungry for profit and lacking in general niceties, where as the people of Kuala Lumpur seemed helpful, polite, and basically, happy. The age-old choice over more money or more happiness seems well and truly weighted towards with money Singapore. On the flipside, it was comfortable, had plenty of shops and choices for those not on a budget and it's easy to see why so many people plan to stop here on their way around the world.