Just what I needed - A holiday from a holiday

Time has a funny way of travelling faster and slower depending on what you are doing and your state of mind at the time. I had been away now for just under 3 months and yet in many ways it already seemed like a year. Each country I had visited seemed to have produced months of memories despite the limited time I was there. I'm not sure if the sensation of being away for ages is indicative of the massive amount of ground covered and places seen, or simply the manifestation of missing home. In one respect, there are aspects of the life I left behind which provoke no sorrow when considering the possibility of never returning. And yet, there are others that I miss so much at times, that I feel detached from experiences that should rightly be greeted with an ear tickling smile worthy of a Cheshire cat. Never one to analyse things too much and instead rely on decisions of the heart, I decided to take a holiday from travelling and spend Christmas in England with my girlfriend. I know, shock, shock, horror, but trust me, even the most idealic beaches in Thailand pale in beauty to some things in life.

In adherence of "the world is a small place" philosophy, I took a flight from Bangkok, via Abu Dhabi and was back in cold, wet, England before Santa had de-iced the sleigh and nibbled on his first mince pie. After a few days of solid catching up with my girlfriend, I was well and truly ready to start putting back on some of that lost weight and enjoy the sort of feasts you only get at a Christmas in England. The setting this year was not the traditional home of good ol' ma and pa, but a massive marital family get together at the home of my brother and his wife, or 'Stu' and 'Em' as most know them. The ambitious first time hosts successfully catered for, intoxicated, and endured the presense of 14 relatives, with no argumements and no furniture set ablaze by the pudding brandy ;) . The result of many of the guests bringing their own additions to the feast, was a carnival of festive gastronomy, and I was first in line for the parade. After enjoying a meal that would've stuffed a horse, and a variety of desserts to satisfy even the sweetest tooth, I accpeted the noble responsibility of consuming more booze and letting my previously malnutritioned body digest the rich offerings.

Now some people may tire of such guiltless gluttony but I set myself apart from the masses and never back down from the meals of Christmas. There are many technical considerations to be made when tackling a Christmas meal, from pacing yourself, allowing sufficient time in between courses, and keeping a continuity to repeat helpings to properly ensure that the food is never cleared before a near vomit inducing level of fullness is attained. This highly disciplined approach has successfully guided me through many festive marathons and this year was no exception - we spent Boxing Day with my Aunt, Uncle, cousins, and their respective partners. The usual oxymoronic relationship of consuming alcohol and playing mind bending games ensued after dinner, and continued until it was time for some eyelid checking.

This was the pattern for my Christmas in Blighty. I spent a lot of time catching up with my girlfriend, drank more than the doctor's orders of wine, ate far too much food, and generally was as proactive as a stoned sloth. Well, it was Christmas! God bless the little baby Christ and all his reindeer!

New Year's Eve was spent back round my bro's place and we disguised the drunken debauchery with a respectful game of gambling on horse races. Once again, it may seem that this wasn't exactly in keeping with the spirit of Christmas but alas, half the proceeds went to charity and the other half went to Stu and Em, who seemed to win every race. Someone with a suspicious mind might think that the organisers / hosts of the gambling arena had watched the races previously, but personally, I'd never entertain such a notion. The start of the New Year seemed to fly with amazing speed, although this may have been as I was having such a good time. I drank, didn't get out of bed before noon, ate too much and spent all the hours available with my girlfriend. After a couple of months of travelling, in areas as far away from home life as you can get, and eating food that a dog would scoff at, it was just what I needed. A little too good really, as it was a painful extraction when leaving again.